The Year of Yes! …I Mean No!! I Meant No First!


Hey now….

…we have seen these results before.

We have seen them 5 times before.

So, I can say, with a straight face, that although we weren’t terribly surprised to see them again, I can’t really say I was expecting it.

No, let me put it another way: my face fell on the floor and I was unable to form a coherent sentence for a good 10 minutes as Ben and I stared at this very positive, very clear word:


It comes as a surprise to us because Ben had things taken care of over 4 years ago, and we should be in the clear for the rest of our days…

Yes, yes, yes… I know there is some small fraction of a chance that things don’t always work out, and trust me, we, of all people, are acutely aware of that small fraction of a percentage. We have been tested, and been given the medical clear. So, according to medical data, and the past 4 years of no pregnancies, we kinda figured we were done.

And yet…there is a big fat YES on that pregnancy test.

What gives??

As my sister so eloquently put it: “Oh man. Tammy. You are literally the most fertile person on the planet.”

And I really can’t disagree with her.

Not with these results.

I’m not sure what you did on your Thursday evening, but here’s what happened in our house:

If you couldn’t have guessed, I have an intense reproductive system. It is reliable, durable, you can bend it, beat it, kick it, roll it, stretch it and stuff it. During pregnancy.

You can only imagine how it behaves the rest of the time.

This being euphemistically said, sometimes it is a little more intense than others.  Such as this month.

I have been having really serious PMS symptoms that have lasted for…most of the month. I have been on the brink of throwing up for a while, paralyzing back pain that feels like rows of glass needles ripping into my spine, headaches, food cravings…just normal period/ovulating stuff. Nothing I haven’t seen before, and all of which have been cleared as “normal and healthy” by many doctors.

So, I wasn’t phased by any of it.

Nevertheless, Ben comes home from work yesterday, and he said he “swung by Safeway on the way home to pick up a few things.”

He pulls out some ice cream, some fire starters for the fireplace…

and then he hands me a pregnancy test…

and he says, “…you’ve thought it too, right?”

WHAT?? NOO!! What on earth are you talking about, crazy man??

I laugh at the mere idea that I am pregnant and grab the box out of his hands and march triumphantly to the bathroom.

“Wait, you’re taking it now??”

“You’re darn right I’m taking it now. This is the silliest thing I’ve heard of.”

Little did I know that the long wait for the result, and that little blinking clock, was only the beginning of a more interesting night ahead for us: a big, fat, positive Yes.


What does this mean. How is this even possible.

How could this be Yes??

After staring at the impending stick for perhaps an eternity, we started to softly form words.


“I guess we’re…”

“Yeah, it looks like it.”

We called the kids in because we wanted them to be part of this conversation. It is a surprise to us just as much as to them, and it would be best to be surprised together. We also wanted to make sure that they were okay with this news…

What has been the most encouraging is how positive all the kids were about this. Conrad is the MOST on board. He and Glenn want another brother pretty badly (most likely for Lego-engineering purposes), and they have already named their new brother Jonah. Nova wants another baby in the house, and Eve and Alice didn’t really understand what was going on. Eve spent most of the discussion crawling on Ben’s back, convinced that she might be a mother, too. (“We’ll talk about that part later, sweetie.”)

We talked about logistics, like having to buy a crib again. Baby clothes. Car seats. Strollers. Plus, we can fit all of us in the car right now, but if we had one more we couldn’t. Which means we would have to get a van…which is not happening we got a Mazda CX-9 for a reason because it does not have sliding doors and it is not a van. So there is the vehicle situation.

There were other things to consider, as well, such as age differences.  Nova would be a whopping 13 years older, so when she was in her mid-20s our youngest would just be entering Middle School. That’s quite a gap. Or when our youngest graduates high school, Ben and I would be grandparents already. Or when our youngest finally reaches adulthood and moves out, we will be in our mid-50s.

I also would spend all this year being pregnant, which has always been very painful and very large for me. I have never had life-threatening pregnancies, but I have had notoriously difficult pregnancies. From hives that last for 5-6 months, to nosebleeds, to migraines, to swollen ankles to the excruciating sciatica to  not being able to keep up with the kids while hobbling on my cane…it is an arduous journey I was quite finished with.

Plus the fact that I just changed this blog over to Five in the Forest, and now I’d have to come up with something that rhymes with six…!

So that’s what’s going on.  We are now ready for another baby in the house, and everyone is on board. We have discussed the emotional aspects and the logistical aspects, and …we are all pretty okay with this news.

…except I took the second test and it was negative.


This could mean a few things:

a) The first test was positive, and the second test was too diluted to get a good reading. And I’m pregnant.

or b) The first test was a fluke and I peed on it too hard or something, and I’m not pregnant.

or c) I take another test in the morning with a fresh sample, and call it a day with the results from those.

Long story short, I took 2 different tests first thing this morning and they were both negative.


So, in the end, life goes on as normal.

Well, as normal as we know it.

What we have learned from this brief experience is that our family loves to love, and the more the better. Our kids were extremely enthusiastic about having another baby, and Ben and I were, while a little hesitant, very supportive of the initial news.  Plus, the rampant loving zeal and warm support we heard from all our friends and family (after the shock wore off), I have to say with vigorous joy that I am so happy to have all these beautiful people in my life.

And you can’t really beat that.

But Ben is taking me out to cocktails after this.

Cheers 😉

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