A trip to Scotland might help. Maybe.
A billion dollars can go a long way, these days.
It might buy you the Presidency, for starters. It could buy you a pretty swank oceanside house in SanFrancisco. You could buy a Caribbean island, or buy a roundtrip ticket to the moon, or purchase and AirBus, or even buy the entire Chicago Cubs team.
Assuming you are a Chicago Cubs fan.
A billion dollars is a pretty crazy amount of money, and while you could fritter it away on real estate, investments, stock or sports teams, you could also do some real good with it!
You might start a charity for homeless families, or for getting fresh water to third world countries, or even getting literacy into the far reaches of the Congo.
Unfortunately, I will not be able to accomplish any of these things.
Because I did not win the Powerball lottery last night.
Now, granted, I didn’t buy a ticket either. So that reduced my chances of winning by a significant margin. Nevertheless, the fact remains that as of this morning, I am officially not a billionaire.
And this is just the reality that I need to come to terms with.
So, what are some things I can do to comfort myself during these dark times?
- Carpe Diem, my friend. You just gotta, like, live in the moment, man. I am drinking my black Costco Folgers coffee like this is the last cup of coffee I might ever have in my life. Even though my feet are cold (because it is like, 40 degrees up here, for months), I know I can find some socks that will give me the impression that I am not totally cold all the time. Today, I will enjoy and appreciate every little thing I can buy without a billion dollars.
- Like Family. There is nothing like family to remind you of what really matters in life. When your 12 year old can tell you the utopia/dystopia analysis of “The Giver,” and off-handedly recite how literature has man vs. nature motifs while you are driving to school, you know you have made it in life. Or when your 4 year old steals your phone and thinks she is secretly videotaping herself singing Frozen songs in the other room…those are moments money could never buy.
- Small Pleasures. I have to admit that I am a little on the frugal side with my lifestyle. If you have a box, some rope and duct tape, I can build you a functioning pantry in no time. So, this being said, I really can’t justify buying a $5 cup of coffee. I remember when I was 18 and I had just moved out on my own and my goal was to live on $5 worth of food a day. It’s not easy, and you’re not eating good food (by any stretch), but it can be done! I always have that in the back of my mind when I see a $7 venti caramel macchiato. However…I am no longer 18 and struggling to survive. So, once in a while, a small latte is okay. Especially on days when I find out I’m not a billionaire.
- Bootstrapping Joy Sometimes, these big hits in life hit you a little harder than others. Yesterday, I woke up to the reality that I am behind on my laundry. This morning, I wake up to the reality that I can’t buy my way into the White House. But I refuse to let this morning get me down! I am still my own person, filled with overreaching optimism of somewhat realistic dreams! Like, I am totally getting on the rowing machine and finally getting started on my exercise regime today! Yes! Go me!!
- Wine. If all else fails, I still have half a bottle of wine in the cupboard.