I am the last person on earth to love coupons.

And when I say that, I mean I hate coupons.

I love a good deal. I love being frugal. I hate wasting money, and I hate wasting my time even more.

So even though I love the idea of couponing…I hate coupons.

They’re like that flaky friend you had in college who would say they could come over, but 85% of the time they forgot or something else came up, and so even though you were wearing clean clothes and did your makeup on a Friday night, they call you half an hour after you guys should have left anyway to let you know that they kinda can’t make it, so now you’re left standing in your front yard in 5 inch heels, looking fantastic, trying to figure out if you should just go out on your own anyway or if you should just call it a night and make a grilled cheese sandwich and binge on Pride and Prejudice all night, since you don’t know what you would do in downtown SanJose on your own in the first place, and it’s a long drive, and you’re kinda tired at this point…

That’s what couponing is.

You can spend hours getting ready for a grocery trip, planning on saving money, because you are a totally awesome frugal woman who doesn’t throw caution, or money, to the wind. But what you find in your couponing adventure is nonsense like this:

5% off a $5 item. You know how much you’re saving?

$.27 is not worth my time to coupon.

5% of savings is the phone call you get while you’re standing in 5 inch heels ready to take on the world, just to be told it’s not happening.

Granted, if you really know what you’re doing with coupons I’m sure they are awesome. I’ve seen it done, and I’ve heard it can be done. It is just so much work to make it really happen.

For instance, last week I spent a good hour or two going through three sections of our local grocery store’s prices, and when I was done with shopping, my total was significantly lower than it would have been. So that is smart couponing right there.

On the other hand, I got some intel from a friend that directed me to another store entirely for groceries. I went there this week and took the list I had written up already, and didn’t use any time couponing beforehand…and I saved myself $200, just shopping somewhere else.

Are you kidding.

So, would I rather spend 2 hours couponing and still pay way more in the end, or go a little out of my way to shop at another store and save money, without all the couponing nonsense?

I’m going a little out of my way without batting an eye.

Listen.

I’m a woman with a lot to do, and I ain’t got time to cut coupons and put them in secretly organized, laminated pockets just to get 5% off at the end of it.

And if you think this experience is only directed towards grocery stores, and not actually a metaphor for bigger concepts in life, you’re sorely mistaken.

“Don’t spend time beating on a wall, hoping to transform it into a door. ”
― Coco Chanel

Experience is the wisdom to see the writing on the wall as a casus belli, instead of hollow graffiti.