Top 5 Reasons Why My Bedroom Is Immaculately Clean.

This article originally appeared on Ravishly.

5 Reasons My Room Is Immaculately Clean

Because behind every clean room there is a vacuum cleaner holding a story.

Will you look at this room?

This is the beautiful room in which I live. Notice the clean space on the floor? Ahh, the floor. You can actually see it.

immaculate bedroom

immaculate bedroom

You just don’t know how clean this room is.

Perhaps that is because you do not live with me. You don’t see the endless fountain of laundry, the crackers snuck into my bed while people watch cartoons in the morning, my own terrible habit of leaving coffee mugs on any level surface within reach. Perhaps you don’t see explosions of granola that overtake the very volume of space which was bequeathed to us in this room.

Aye, this room is terribly, oddly clean.

If you don’t count the unmade bed (I am sitting in it right now, so I don’t think that counts against the room on a technicality), or the clean laundry on the window seat…this is one, very clean room. The carpets have been vacuumed.  The baseboards have been vacuumed. The sheets have been taken out, shook, washed, fluffed dry and then put back onto the bed. The clothes have been picked up and put away. There are no old coffee mugs sitting upon the quiet windowsill. There are no longer  papers/books/binders/pencils/crayons/Snuffleupaguses laying around, discarded from today’s schooling of the children.

It is oddly quiet in this room, amongst all this clean space. Quiet, like an old western mining town, lost in the winds of time. The peculiar wind creeping through and sniffing in corners, looking for mischief. Where could it be? Where was the mischief that it sensed only 10 minutes ago?

Okay, it isn’t that quiet. You might as well just put static on the television and a blue light on the ceiling at that point. But still, oddly clean.

Especially for me.

Now, if you’ve been following along and you know me, you might be thinking to yourself, “But she hates cleaning. Especially her room. Who cares if her bedroom is clean?  Guests will never see it…what’s up, Buttercup?”

Well, I’m glad you asked.

Because behind every clean room there is a vacuum cleaner holding a story.

Top 5 Reasons Why My Bedroom Is Immaculately Clean.

folded shirts, huh?

folded shirts, huh?

1. My 3-year-old opened a new bag of Costco granola on my dresser while watching “Jake and the Neverland Pirates.” On the plus side, all the baseboards in a 15-foot radius have now been vacuumed.

2. I opened a bag of granola while watching “Jake and the Neverland Pirates,” because I forgot I am an adult and I can legally change the channel when the kids leave the room.

3. I have spent four (okay, five) hours reading and blogging and the guilt is overwhelming, so I am trying to clean as many rooms as I can until I feel like I am still taking care of the house and not actually ignoring the litter box that you can smell from the hallway (everything has been sanitized and order has been restored).

4. I clicked on a Pinterest link on how to clean your whole house in 10 minutes (actual time: 3.5 hours).

Who puts folded shirts on top of your closet shelf? I can hardly reach the hangers. Honestly, people.

5. Guests.

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