Last night I had a terrifying dream.

This dream was so terrifying, it woke me up. At 4 in the morning I lay in bed, watching the PNW sun crest over the Cascades and pierce through my previously slumbering forest. The sunbeams cut through the night and woke all the birds who nest in the cedars and maples around us. No doubt, it was a glorious sight to behold. The leaves perked up, the wildflowers surrounding the arboreal giants yawned sleepily, and the songbirds rose en masse in a choir fit for a queen.

Except the queen may have reminded them, “Hey! You all! It’s 4am! Knock off all that ruckus and go back to sleep!”

That’s what I would have said, but I didn’t want to wake the house.

So there I was, terribly awake at 4am. Listening to the majesty of songbirds and watching my mystical forest come to life.

What could have woken me, you wonder? What dream could have disturbed my sleep so great to startle me into the early morning light?

I dreamt, and I swear this is all true, that I and the kids and Ben were escaping from school on motorcycles. Except we hit a huge puddle right before the bridge that would get us to the other side, and all of our motorcycles drowned.

In confused distress, and treading water, we looked at our submerged bikes and said, “Well. Now what do we do??”

And with that, my brain yanked me out of my futile dream of escape and plunked me back in my bed. Wide awake. At 4am. Listening to way too many songbirds claim their perched territories in my forest.

Wide awake.

I have to come to terms with the fact that today is the first day of summer vacation.

I know, I know. “Yay! It is summer vacation! What fun!! No more work!”

The problem is, I like working.

I love creating and exploring and discovering new things…and old things. I like teaching and having agendas and directing the day in a timely and orderly fashion.

And yet, here I am.

At 11:56am, still in my bathrobe and still letting the kids play Minecraft.

It’s like…anarchy. And chaos. And drifting through life…

I’m sure I will get the hang of this “vacation” thing eventually.

But today, I might do some laundry. Or maybe look for motorcycles on Craigslist.