I have the pleasure of having Celiac, which I can unequivocally say has improved my quality of life.

Which is a weird thing to state, I understand.

“You ca’t have pizza??  Or doughnuts??  No french toast??  No KFC??  No burritos?!”

I don’t really miss any of these.  Okay, I actually do really miss flour tortillas.  There is nothing like biting into the soft flour tortilla for a burrito.  I have tried gluten free tortillas, and they are all unconditionally terrible.

But the rest of the items I am forbidden to eat…I probably shouldn’t be eating anyway.

Before I discovered I had Celiac, I just ate whatever I desired.  Since discovering this autoimmune blessing (yes, blessing), I have had to actually do research on what food I am not only putting into my body, but into my family’s as well.  I have taught myself how to cook nutritious food from scratch that actually tastes amazing (these two do not always go hand in hand).

So, in the end, I my quality of life is significantly better because I have Celiac.

Unfortunately, there are drawbacks.

I cannot trust anything that has been pre-made.  Anything.  Even gluten free items.  Even certified gluten free items.

I had to stop eating gluten free pasta, because I would have violent reactions (lack of breathing, flush cheeks, muscle spasms, etc) after eating gluten free pasta.  Why is this…it is gluten free!  Maybe the labeling says gluten free, but legally a company can include up to 0.025% gluten in their food, and still be considered gluten free.  That 0.025% makes a difference when my body sees that as eating 0.025% poison I am putting in my body.

Lately I have had to stop eating the gluten free pizza in the Costco freezer section.

And last night I was in bed with another violent reaction to Udi’s Gluten Free Bread, which I never thought was a problem before. It is incredibly frustrating, since this was a safe option for me; but after a few tests over the course of a few weeks, you at some point you have to admit there is a problem.  You aren’t just tired, you aren’t just imagining things. Laying in bed with muscle cramps and not being able to breathe, and then feeling fine 2-3 hours later, is a big indicator that there is something wrong.

So what is the problem with Udi’s Gluten Free Bread???  The ingredients are all gluten free…

“I think I found out why – after reviewing the ingredients – they have added a mold inhibitor which may be a sensitivity problem. I know with the Kraft Cracker Barrel cheese – this has been added as well – which may be why Kraft does not have this cheese on its gluten free web page. The other cheeses yes, but not this particular brand. The inhibitor is natamycin – and it seems that some do have a sensitivity to this type of preservative.”  (celiac.com)

You are going to have to forgive my language for a second:

SONOFABITCH

The mold inhibitor?!!!!

GGGAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!

So, I’m back to square one.

That is Celiac, my friends.